Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) Read online

  Unforgiven

  Jessica Miller

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the publisher.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Unforgiven (wanderers #3)

  Copyright © 2014 Jessica Miller

  All rights reserved.

  Smashwords Edition

  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to my fans. Thank you for your undying devotion.

  Don’t forget to take a look in the back for the Unforgiven Playlist.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I’m going to give myself a pat on the back and thank myself for all my hard work. I have gone over and over this book to death trying to make sure I got the story perfect and where I wanted it to be. I’d also like to thank all the readers and bloggers who dedicated their time to read my books and share them with other readers. Your time is never taken for granted.

  Chapter one

  I woke up startled. Forgetting where I was. “Hey, you okay?” Josie asked.

  “Yeah, weird dream is all,” I said, pulling off the itchy wool blanket the stewardess brought me earlier.

  “You want to talk about it?” Josie turned, giving me her full attention.

  “No I’m okay. Thanks,” I said, squeezing Josie’s hand and smiling at her reassuringly.

  “How are you feeling? Hungry? Thirsty?” she asked with a quick intensity making me feel a little overwhelmed.

  “Josie I’m fine,” I insisted for the millionth time. “Just tired,” and feeling run down I wanted to say, but kept it to myself. No point in making her worry. She was already hovering over me enough and I needed room to breathe. I appreciated her concern, but she was smothering me just a little too much.

  Josie reached in to her bag and pulled out a water bottle and handed it to me. “I had Billy sneak this on the plane for you,” she said, shoving the bottle in my hand.

  I looked at the bottle. There was a red gooey substance inside that looked like cranberry juice. “What is it?” I asked wearily.

  “Two parts blood one part water.” I made a face. Josie rolled her eyes at me. “Gee whiz Ella, for a vampire you think you wouldn’t be so squeamish about drinking blood.”

  “Yes, but I’m a new vampire and only half at that. This whole drinking blood thing is still new to me,” I said, eyeing the bottle.

  “Just drink it. Billy said you’ll need it to help recuperate and get your strength back and this is the quickest way to do that. You’re still weak and frankly looking kind of pale.” It was my turn to roll my eyes now. “And not to mention you insisted we leave right away –”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll drink it…see,” I said, unscrewing the cap and holding up the bottle. As soon as I got a whiff of it I felt my pulse race. I took a long, deep breath. The second it hit my lips it took everything I had not to down the bottle. I swallowed a few small gulps and placed the cap back on the bottle. I gave Josie an exaggerated smile and she sat back content. It was a small victory she had won, just enough to satisfy her and leave me alone for a little while.

  I tucked the bottle in my bag for later and sat back in my chair. I let the healing effects of the blood course through me as I tried to rest comfortably. I could feel it working almost instantly and was happy for the pick me up. The whole idea of drinking blood still freaked me out despite it’s rewards. I only recently had the desire for it and that was usually in the heat of the moment. Roman was the only person I have ever bitten, but at the time it just felt right, natural. I felt the desire of it and the call of it, but drinking it voluntarily from a bottle and biting someone were two different things. Sitting here thinking about it made biting someone surprisingly more appealing than drinking it like it was wine.

  I had a hard time trying to fall back asleep. My mind was racing with everything that happened and I couldn’t seem to shut it off. I got up to go to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Josie was right. I was looking pretty pale. I also had dark circles under my eyes and my skin looked shallow and sunken in. On top of all that, the latest addition of blue in my hair was beaming brightly. Unfortunately this streak I couldn’t hide unlike the others. This one was in plain view on the top right side.

  I sighed, readjusted my ponytail, and then headed back to my seat. When I returned, I noticed Josie and Cameron had switched seats and Josie was now cuddled up next to Billy. I was actually surprised she hadn’t sat next to him in the first place.

  “Hey,” Cameron said as I squeezed in to the seat next to her. “Care to fill me in on what the plan is? Not that I don’t enjoy a random trip to Ireland, but I would like to know what to expect.”

  I knew Josie wasn’t too forthcoming about what we were doing and I wasn’t so sure myself on what I should tell her. It was clear she was on team Roman. I was afraid once I told her the truth she would hop on the next flight back to school, although that might not be such a bad thing. She shouldn’t be here. This was not her problem. I watched her expectant face as she sat there and waited for my answer. Should I tell her the truth? Would she freak out so bad they’ll have to contain her for the rest of the flight? I guess there was only one way to find out.

  I decided to start small and work my way up. I thought breaking it to her gently would be the safer approach. “Why don’t you tell me what you do know?” I said, hoping I could get an idea of where I should start.

  She narrowed her eyes at me slightly. I had a feeling she knew I was attempting to hide certain information and I was sure she was about to let me know she wasn’t happy about it. She adjusted herself so she was facing me. I braced myself for her attitude, but she surprised me by speaking calmly. “I know there was someone before Roman and he was ‘the one’,” she air quoted. “I also know Jack supposedly killed him, but you believe he’s still alive.” I nodded my head, unsure if she was looking for conformation or not. “My guess is you got tipped off that he is somewhere in Ireland.”

  “How do you know all this?” I asked, wondering how she came about this information.

  “I’m just that good,” she said with a smirk. I raised my brow at her. “And Josie told me.” I sat back, crossing my arms. Was nothing sacred anymore? What happened to sharing secrets with friends because you knew you could trust that person to keep that secret? I can’t believe she would open her mouth like that. “Look, she only told me what I needed to know so don’t get mad at Josie.”

  I pulled on the end of my ponytail, biting my lip. I still wasn’t sure how much information I should divulge. “Why are you here?” I asked instead. She looked at me confused and at the same time a little offended. “What I’m saying is…” I paused for a moment. I didn’t even think I knew what I was trying to say. “I would have expected you to beg me to stay considering you know the real reason I’m going,” I said softly, as if I was committing a sin for saying it out loud.

  “I’m not going to lie. At first I thought you just needed to get away for a while, which is cool, considering, but then you started talking in your sleep and that’s when I started asking questions.” I blushed, a little embarrassed. I had no idea I talked in my sleep. I wondered how much I actually said. “Don’t worry. You didn’t give up anything good,” she winked. “You just kept saying Tristan over and over again.”

  I tugged at the picky wool blanket. Why was Cameron so cal
m about all this? I wondered if she had ulterior motives. “I don’t get how you are okay with all of this?” She looked at me funny. “Not too long ago you swore to do physical damage if I ever hurt Roman and here you are on your way to help me find my so called dead lover.”

  “Maybe I’m secretly hoping you don’t find him,” she said with a teasing smile. I tried to smile back but the hurt I was feeling from the possibility of breaking Roman’s heart was too much to bear at the moment. “Ella, I know you love Roman. You can’t deny it anymore,” she said, giving me a look that said nice try but I figured it out. “I know he loves you too.”

  “Are you deliberately trying to dig the knife deeper?” I asked, clenching onto the little sanity I had left.

  “No. I get why you are doing this. I know you don’t want to hurt Roman and if it was me, I would do the same thing. I would want to know too. As your friend I support your decision whatever the outcome. I’m here for you and I will do whatever you need me to do no questions asked.”

  I just couldn’t let it go. I was perplexed by her generosity and understanding. “But why?” I pushed, needing to know more.

  “Because you are my friend and that’s what friends do,” she said with a genuinely sweet smile. She placed her hand gently on mine. “I will follow you through this to the end.”

  I relaxed a little. I should have never doubted Cameron’s intentions. She was always straight with me, from the first day I met her. “Thank you Cameron. You have no idea how much this means to me. I have no idea how I could ever repay you.”

  “Don’t worry. I think of something,” she said, patting my hand. “We can start with you calling Roman,” she smiled, reaching out to grab the phone off the back of the chair.

  I knew it was too good to be true. She held the phone out to me. I took it and hung it back up. “Cameron I can’t call Roman.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because. What the hell would I say? I mean really. Hey sorry I left but I had to see if my ex-lover was still alive. Yeah, cause that would go over great.”

  “Ella, I think you are under estimating Roman. You don’t know how he’s going to react.”

  “Exactly,” I said, scared I already lost him.

  “I think he would be more pissed by you not saying anything than telling him the truth. I know Roman pretty well and trust me when I say it is better that you call him. He’ll understand,” she said, grabbing the phone again.

  I knew she was right. Although I didn’t believe he would be as understanding as she claimed he would be. Hell I wouldn’t, but I just couldn’t right now. I needed some time to think of what to say and at the moment too many things were plaguing my mind to think straight. “I will call him, but not now. I just…rather wait until we land.” She conceded and placed the phone back in it’s rightful place.

  “Fine, but I’m warning you now I will keep you reminding you to.”

  “I have no doubt you will.”

  “Alright get some rest. You’re going to need it.”

  I sighed and rested my head back against the seat. It made me feel a little better knowing Cameron understood, but still worried with what we were stepping into. We were walking in blind. No idea where to start. We were going off a tip from a psychotic killer who could have possibly lied just to send on us on a wild goose chase. I wouldn’t believe that though. I knew deep down Tristan was alive. I saw it. I had to believe and I wasn’t going to give up until I found him.

  I flipped the switch for the stewardess and asked her for a cup of water so I could take some of the sleeping pills I had left over from the many visits I had taken to the nurse’s office. I knew that would be the only way I could sleep and not worry about everything. Besides thinking about Tristan, I couldn’t stop thinking about Roman. I cared for him deeply and I meant it when I told him I loved him, but I loved Tristan too and if there was a possibility he was out there somewhere… I had to know.

  The temporary peace and quiet was welcomed, leaving me time to my own thoughts, but all that time in my own head would make anyone crazy. I decided to take out my journal and write until the meds kicked in.

  March 27

  My life has never really been simple. In the past two years I had almost died, three times. I lost my best friend Josie, who then came back from the dead, and now is an angel along with my high school sweetheart Kyle. I’m a half-vampire half-human who has more powers than anyone has heard of and with each new power I get it seems to follow with turning pieces of my hair blue. I started a new school where I fell in love with a boy named Roman, met some great friends, only to have it end with a horrible attack on the school because of me. And let’s not forget my evil ex-roommate, who for whatever reason, hates me and had made it her duty to make my life miserable.

  Yep, that’s pretty much my life in a nutshell. Oh and let’s not forget I’m also a royal who is supposed to take over for my dad in a few years unless Xander, my eldest brother, decides to take his place. But I have a feeling after the stunt I just pulled I’ll be let off the hook – hopefully.

  All these thoughts spinning in my head; Roman, Tristan, Riley – one of my newest best friends and the one person I regret leaving behind without an explanation as to why. I’m trying not to think about how pissed off Gabe and Dean are going to be when they find out I’m gone. And my parents. I can’t think about all of them now. What’s done is done. I’ll deal with the consequences when I return…if I return.

  I slept most of the flight. Every now and then I would dream about Tristan and his Grandmother’s garden, but every time I would run to him I could never catch him. He always seemed so close, but always just out of reach. A few times when I did manage to catch him it was Roman and not Tristan. I tossed and turned, reliving the dream on a loop. The last dream, when I reached him, I hesitantly touched his shoulder, afraid of who would turn around.

  It was Jack.

  I took a step back in surprise. He was smiling, holding something in his hand. When I looked down it was a bloody heart. His entire fist and arm was dripping in blood as if he just ripped the heart right out of someone’s chest. I gasped at the vileness of it all. “It was just so easy,” he said.

  I placed my hand over my chest only to feel a giant gaping hole. I looked down. It was my heart he was holding.

  I woke up with a jolt, accidentally kicking the chair in front of me, and causing the woman to glare over her seat at me. I mumbled sorry, but she didn’t seem to care.

  “You alright?” Cameron asked.

  I put my hand over my chest. Still intact…just broken.

  “Yeah,” I nodded. I readjusted myself in the seat. I wasn’t use to flying coach and sitting in these smaller seats. They definitely did not cater to taller people. I was regretting our decision to not fly first class. We thought it would be easier to keep us under the radar but my legs and back were starting to disagree. Not to mention I couldn’t count how many times the stewardess hit my elbow with the damn drink cart. I rubbed my elbow. It was still a little sore. “What time is it?” I asked Cameron.

  “Not sure. I’m still on Rhode Island time,” she shrugged.

  “What does your watch say?”

  “Nine am.”

  I stopped the flight attendant as she was making her rounds. “Excuse me ma’am? How much longer until we reach our destination?”

  “About an hour,” she said.

  I turned back to Cameron. “Okay so Ireland is five hours ahead and we should be there within the hour so…” I started ticking the numbers off in my head. “It’s two in the afternoon now so we should be there around three.”

  “How do you even know all that?” Cameron asked, scrunching her brow. “Let me find out you’re secretly a nerd,” she smiled.

  “Being smart does not make you a nerd,” I glared. “And it’s basic math.”

  “Whatever,” she said, waving her hand, and leaning back against her pillow. I wish I could do the same, but I was too worked up over my last dream. I decided
to get up and stretch my legs. When I returned back to my seat Cameron was already out. I took out my IPod and tried to relax. I had another hour before we could start to look for Tristan and with each passing minute I was getting more and more anxious.

  Chapter two

  As soon as we landed, Billy told us he would head to the rental kiosk while we collected the bags. Happy to be off the cramped plane, I stretched my arms high while I waited for my bag on the carousel. After we retrieved all our things, we met Billy outside where he was waiting with our new rented car. We handed off our bags to Billy then piled in the rental.

  Billy told us the nearest hotel was only a few miles away. He suggested it would be better if we checked in to the hotel for the night and figured out where we wanted to start. He also suggested we map out different places where we think he would be and then check those places out in the morning. I wanted to start right away, but they were right, we needed to get settled in and figure everything out. Not to mention I was still feeling pretty weak and the long flight pretty much wiped me out.

  On the way to the hotel, I gazed out the window at the wide stretch of land. I knew Ireland was beautiful, but I never expected it to be as breathtaking a view as this. I was in awe. I’ve seen pictures and heard stories, but nothing compares to the real thing. I relaxed back in my seat and took it all in. Committing everything I could to memory afraid I might not see it again.

  About twenty minutes into the drive, we passed a large garden. I looked out the window watching all the exotic flowers whiz by my vision; Daises, Lilies, Roses, Forget-me-nots, Jasmine…Jasmine. Something in my head clicked. “Wait, stop the car,” I said. Billy kept driving. “Stop the car,” I said again.